Some days are so much easier than others! This has not been an easy day. A fellow adopting family who are the parents of two boys from our orphanage were supposed to be granted the visa for one of their boys today. Yes, only one of the two was even given the shot at a visa today, and he didn't get it! I guess it's a long complicated story as to why, yet again there had to be ANOTHER set back!
One has to wonder just how many set backs a person can take before completely losing it?? You begin this process with such hope and amazement and it slowly becomes a daily struggle to hang on to all of that hope! Yet hope is all we have! All of us that are adopting from Haiti of course feel that our children are no where else, our kids are in Haiti, they sit there day after long day waiting and wondering why in the world it is taken us so long to bring them to their forever families. We first met Morelson 15 months ago, and as long as I live, I will NEVER, EVER forget that horrible, pleading, heartbreaking, earth shattering cry that he let out when we had to say goodbye to him. He was ready to go home with us right then are there! It was hands down the hardest thing I had ever done to say goodbye to him on that hot, humid & oh so loud Haitian street! I remember Marie, the orphanage director saying to us "don't cry, your turn will come."
Will it? Really? When? As each new family suffers a set back, as our file continues to sit in that black hole they refer to as IBESR for moving on a year now, just when will our turn come? As Morelson continues to grow and develop without the loving aid of his family, I ponder what is he really thinking? How could he possibly know that we think of him multiple times each and every day, that I have already cried so many tears over the fact that he'll miss the first day of Kindergarten that we so "hopefully" signed him up for! That his 6th birthday will soon be here, and he won't! That when we sit down for Thanksgiving dinner and try to remember all of the things we are thankful for he won't be here to look over at! It hurts, and yes on day's like today I'm feeling sorry for myself.
I hope that Morelson is happy today! I hope that he stayed busy with his "siblings" at the Orphanage, that he got to ride the bike the boys all seem to love, and that he goes to bed tonight will a full tummy and a warm heart full of thoughts of his family coming for him! A fellow adopting mom is on her way to Haiti today and she is bringing our guy a care package. My next few days will be filled with the picture of his beaming smile as he gets the goodie bag. He'll find his favorites: M&M's, salted cashews, a chocolate brownie cliff bar, a toy prism, a matchbox car and a picture of the mama and papa that miss him all the way to the moon and back!
MWEN REN MEN OU CHERIE!
We, too, have been in IBESR for 11 months now and are trying to remain hopeful in the face of disappointment. It is so hard. May there be good news for your family and so many others very soon!
ReplyDeleteIt's not our imagination that it is becoming more difficult...it is, and I got that messege straight from M. My guess is: lot's of pressure from the international agency that shall remain un-named. It's forced the govt. to add more beauracacy, if you can believe that is even possible, and in typical Latin American fashion, NOTHING moves quickly there. I caught much more of the local flavor on my last trip as it was more leisurely, and I stayed at the place where all the local businessman, police, UN and embassy employees hung out.
ReplyDeleteI know, believe me I know how discouraging and hard this is. It just about sucked all my sanity out of me, and no one around me understood that (except you guys) and they still don't understand it. But when it's finally over, believe it or not, it's like childbirth, you remember it but you don't hang on to the pain and you regain your footing, even as you are making all kinds of adjustments with your new child. Waiting and fighting for these kids is a very emotionally difficult task. I realize it even more now and it is so important that we support each other.
We were 9 months in IBESR, 7 months in MOI with the intermediate steps going pretty quickly. 21 months total. At the end it happened alot quicker than I expected, I thought it would be summer before they got here. When he finally comes home it will become like he has always been a part of your family because he is already in your heart. My heart bleeds for my friends that are having difficulties with their files, but remember that all files are different, and their scenerio is NOT your scenerio. It's hard to seperate that sometimes, because it hurts when they are set back, we really are in this together.
Sorry if I hijacked your blog. I love that you've got one now, I will be checking in regularly, hoping and praying for that next bit of good news about your precious boy!
A kiss to you and Morelson from Kendra! Love you beautiful Mama.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the pain and frustration. Our file has been in Haiti over three years (but "only" in IBESR for 16 months). Some days I wonder if this process will ever come to completion...
ReplyDelete