Sean Tuohy, Michael Oher and Leigh Anne Tuohy
The Tuohy's are the family depicted in The Blindside released this week. They are played by Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw and Quinton Aaron.
As an adoptive mom to be of a son of African heritage I read all of the hype centered around this movie based on the book The Blindside: Evolution of the Game, by Michael Lewis. I'll begin by saying I didn't think I would like the movie, I figured along w/ plenty of others that it would carry a "tone." That tone being one of "Only white people w/ money of the do gooder sect could possibly turn around and "save" a black boy from the wrong side of town." Well that is ultimately what happened! Whether you like it or not, Michael Oher is partly who he is today thanks to the Tuohy's. Reality isn't always what we want it to be or wish it weren't! Yes the movie comes across as very touchy feely, and I'm sure that not every single thing in the movie is absolutely 100% accurate down to each word, hug and look. Yet in every single article or interview I've read when Michael himself is asked about the book and movie he agrees w/ everything that has been published or portrayed with the exception of his IQ. If that is the only piece that is up for debate than I would say both Mr. Lewis and Hollywood have done an admirable job!
Michael Oher was brought into this world under conditions that no child should ever have to know. Born to a crack addicted mother of 13 who wasn't even sure who his father was at the time, he ended up living in many different foster homes, staying with whatever friend would take him in at the time or being left to find a warm floor to sleep on.
My thoughts on the film are it can a teachable moment. Let's not make it out to be a slam on the black community in the sense that they can't "save" their own. In Michael's case he happened to be part of an immediate community that really was incapable of intervening. That certainly doesn't mean that all members of the black community are unable or unwilling to adopt, foster or offer help to black children in need. I don't think that the movie left people believing that is the case. There are bad seeds in every walk of life. People of all color, race and religion are capable of doing wrong by their children. We have all heard of many cases where the black community has stepped in and raised other people's children. In Michael's case this just wasn't one of them, it's that simple. The Tuohy's stepped up, saw a child of this world in need and did what it takes to make him successful! That's where the teachable moment comes in: when you see another fellow human being in need, and you have the means to meet those needs and your heart is in the right place, irregardless of color, religion, society's norms, etc.. you need to go for it. It's no more complex than that. A human being is a human being, and we all have far more in common than we do not in common.
I have done a ton of reading on trans racial adoption and realize there are a mountain of things to be aware of. I would never be so naive to think that as a white mother I can solely arm my black son with all that he needs as a black male in today's world. In Michael's case his basic needs were not even being met, we can not fool ourselves into thinking that we can continue to ignore the fact that this is the case for millions of children world wide. First let's give the world's children a safe, loving home, three nutrional meals a day, a predicatable routine, a solid education and an arsenal of extended community members that can help foster the child's whole being. When that is being done on a large scale that's when we can pick and choose the homes these children in need go to, that's when we can really worry about whether a black family vs. a white family is best for any particular child. Meanwhile we don't have the right to decide that a black child or hispanic child or asian child is better off being raised in a abusive home, foster home or orphanage because a family that shares the same skin color or cultural identity isn't stepping forward to raise them properly! Nor should we worry about "saving face" of those that are abusing, neglecting, or in anyway harming the total well being of a child because it's politically incorrect or potentially damaging to a particular group of people.
Watch the movie, enjoy the success that Michael finds and realize that the Tuohy's have learned much more from Michael than he will ever learn from them!
My thoughts on the film are it can a teachable moment. Let's not make it out to be a slam on the black community in the sense that they can't "save" their own. In Michael's case he happened to be part of an immediate community that really was incapable of intervening. That certainly doesn't mean that all members of the black community are unable or unwilling to adopt, foster or offer help to black children in need. I don't think that the movie left people believing that is the case. There are bad seeds in every walk of life. People of all color, race and religion are capable of doing wrong by their children. We have all heard of many cases where the black community has stepped in and raised other people's children. In Michael's case this just wasn't one of them, it's that simple. The Tuohy's stepped up, saw a child of this world in need and did what it takes to make him successful! That's where the teachable moment comes in: when you see another fellow human being in need, and you have the means to meet those needs and your heart is in the right place, irregardless of color, religion, society's norms, etc.. you need to go for it. It's no more complex than that. A human being is a human being, and we all have far more in common than we do not in common.
I have done a ton of reading on trans racial adoption and realize there are a mountain of things to be aware of. I would never be so naive to think that as a white mother I can solely arm my black son with all that he needs as a black male in today's world. In Michael's case his basic needs were not even being met, we can not fool ourselves into thinking that we can continue to ignore the fact that this is the case for millions of children world wide. First let's give the world's children a safe, loving home, three nutrional meals a day, a predicatable routine, a solid education and an arsenal of extended community members that can help foster the child's whole being. When that is being done on a large scale that's when we can pick and choose the homes these children in need go to, that's when we can really worry about whether a black family vs. a white family is best for any particular child. Meanwhile we don't have the right to decide that a black child or hispanic child or asian child is better off being raised in a abusive home, foster home or orphanage because a family that shares the same skin color or cultural identity isn't stepping forward to raise them properly! Nor should we worry about "saving face" of those that are abusing, neglecting, or in anyway harming the total well being of a child because it's politically incorrect or potentially damaging to a particular group of people.
Watch the movie, enjoy the success that Michael finds and realize that the Tuohy's have learned much more from Michael than he will ever learn from them!
